Sunday, June 20, 2010
This Situation Will Get Out Of Control. It Will Get Out Of Control And We Will Be Lucky To Live Through It
It will also not end well. I used to think that when we deveopled nuclear weapons that could destroy the planet over and over again it would force us into making peace with our enemies and the world would be war free. What did I know? I was just a kid.
Big weapons usually don't get used all so often. Its the little ones that become a daily solution to life's little annoyances.
Then I read about the newest item in the US's arsenal to control large groups of people or kill the enemy from a distance. Check out the 'Active Denial System'. How active? About as active as the bag of popcorn you just put in the microwave for popping.
"OK, OK. Maybe that isn’t precisely the logic being employed by those segments of the American military who would like to deploy the Active Denial System to Afghanistan. I’m sure they’re telling themselves that the generally non-lethal microwave weapon is a better, safer crowd control alternative than an M-16. But those ray-gun advocates better think long and hard about the Taliban’s propaganda bonanza when news leaks of the Americans zapping Afghans until they feel roasted alive."
You just KNOW that something that much fun will be manufactured soon to be pocket sized and available at Walmart for $29.95. Arms makers gots to make the bling, bitches. If not for the military then for home use. Pop a bowl of corn and your daugher's thug boyfriend all from the comfort of your living room chair.
I can just see two scientists working on some spy satellite that shoots lazers for the military and failing. Then the General asks them if they have anything else he can look at. At that point the scientists look at each other and say, "Well we do have this thing that allows you to MICROWAVE YOUR ENEMY." "OH really, the General would reply. Can I see a demonstration?" It's after that show that the General wets his pants with joy and enjoys some hot buttery goodness.
And how about the effect on our Arab friends? "What does the weapon do?" "It basically microvaves you like a bag of popcorn." "What is a microvave and what is popcorn?" "Doesn't matter - DEATH TO AMERICA."
Thank you science. You can build this but my rocket pack still eludes you. You suck.
Posted by Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness at 9:10 PM